What's your favorite Niles line ever?

[tenpercenter]

" im not sure daphne but i believe this bird died from a giant head trauma"

[johnwang]

"Well, send in the clowns...too late, they're here."

[DHPfan]

From a Lilith thanksgiving,
Niles: How far are you along?
Lilith: I'm almost done defrosting.
Niles: And the turkey?
And from Midwinter's night dream,
Daphne: Dr Crane, we're losing the fire!
Niles: No we're not! It's burning with the heat of a thousand suns!

[Clare]

Thats enough excitment for one day. I'm going home to my Maris.
My juicy wench?! No not you Maris...I hope your happy shes gone to take her water pills!

[celticrain]

I don't remember the episode but it has to be the time he was in Nervosa and ordered a coffee saying "Just enough foam to be aesthetically pleasing but no so much as would make a mustache".
Also - I asked for a whisper of foam and this is a veritable shout.

The funniest was when Frasier was dating a woman who knew a lot of well known celebrities and was bothered that he only did so to get to meet them. He said to Nile's something like "Oh God I am as shallow as they are" Nile's answers something like "There, there at least you are deep enough to know you`re shallow.

[tubalcain]

From a Lilith thanksgiving,
Niles: How far are you along?
Lilith: I'm almost done defrosting.
Niles: And the turkey?
And from Midwinter's night dream,
Daphne: Dr Crane, we're losing the fire!
Niles: No we're not! It's burning with the heat of a thousand suns!

I liked these as well.

[Whisper of cinnamon]

There are hundreds of lines to choose from, so this is really hard bordering on impossible. But this one cracks me up every time, from Desperately Seeking Closure: 'Well, no wonder you're heartbroken. You've just lost the only woman you could even possibly sometime down the line perhaps fall in love with. I'm surprised the country music people haven't jumped all over this one!'

I think it's such a clever, funny way of pointing out the strangeness of Frasier's over-dramatic longing for this lost relationship (as often expressed in country music) and the fact that he actually wasn't really that into her. I always imagine the country song that would result! It's just so funny! Frasier's wit was never more inventive than in season 5, IMO.

[Whisper of cinnamon]

I love it when he asks those really innocent or simple questions, like this one from The Babysitter:

(Frasier: "It's Viagra!")
Niles: "They give that away with Velveeta?"

Or this one:

(Daphne: "It's about his first time."
Frasier: "Thank you, Daphne.")
Niles: "Your first time doing what?"

I love it when Niles does this, too!

Another one:

Frasier: Because the Joaquim they're bringing to dinner is...their foster child! From a tiny village on the Pampas. He speaks no English and he gets nauseated when he eats American food!
Niles: So, he's not the conductor of the Buenos Aires Philharmonic?

I love Frasier's response too:
Frasier: Oh, you are so that other one!

[bisounours]

Niles talks Frasier into buying some charity tickets for a "worthy cause" and Frasier asks who to make the check out to:
"The Esmeralda...Bing...International...Doll Museum"

[Placebo group]

My absolute all-time favourite is from Shrink Rap:

Dad loves Sherry, boys just whine
Sherry: To me, humour is like a medicine.
Niles: I guess we're in the placebo group.

This is my favourite line too, because Sherry wasn' t funny at all. My favourite so far, because I' m still re-watching the series in original language and I haven' t finished yet (I watched all the episodes many times but always on Italian TV). Too bad in Italian it was translated in a way it didn' t make sense, I had to watch the episode in original langauge many years after to get it. Furthermore it was so easy to translate I just don' t get how they made that mess. The sad thing is that about 50% of the gags are badly translated when it was possible to make a humoristic line in Italian, sometimes just translating it straight (like the placebo line). I think the only line that was better in Italian was when Frasier picked that giant corckscrew to break the ice when they went with Martin in the "not lake-adjacent" cabin.

[DHPfan]

Frasier: So your situation is that you're married to Maris, and you'll like to have an affair with Daphne.
Niles: Yes. Can I do that?
Frasier: No Niles! You cannot!
Laugh so loudly whenever I hear that:) It's so Niles..

[eddies #1]

NILES GOTTA HAVE IT!!!

[tenpercenter]

" no fighting over drumsticks at this party"

(after yelling at a women)
"thats why i insist on buying your coffee and let me add a muffin"

[nightshade]

Frasier: "We've seen each other once in two years!"
Niles:"(long pause)Oh, that WAS your point."

[Lil]

"Good news! I've figured out a way I can have sex and we can all be happy!"

[tenpercenter]

"prince of aragon"

[welshben23]

"prince of aragon"

I thought it was "Catherine of Aragon."

[tenpercenter]

my bad

[DHPfan]

"Your brothers were playing a game called 'I can reach it from here'. Let me give you a hint: The 'it' was a toilet."

[Giggsy]

From the season 3 finale "You can go home again" when martin and frasier have a short discussion about the baseball match ...

Martin: The pitchers a bum
Niles Hes a bum, hes an absolute hobo

[tenpercenter]

oh roz your moving?

[freewill]

I love this line from the first time he meets Bebe:

"Hello, I'm Niles, a person at the table."

[DHPfan]

In My Coffee With Niles,
Martin: What do you boys talk about anyway?
Niles: Oh you know, sports, chicks, monster truck rallies..

[!Amz!]

From "Boo!":

"Maybe you can find a nice card for Frasier, something like 'Now that I'm old and looking back, I thank you for my heart attack!'"

(after Frasier tells Martin that foods on the list with a smiley heart next to them are good for him)
Frasier: How are you going to explain that you can't eat ribs, or that you can't have sex for 2 weeks?!
Niles: What little picture is next to that one?

Also the way he says "Frasier has a man problem!"

[tenpercenter]

i said goodbye maris, i dont have to take your crap anymore and i stormed out of there