Written by: Rob Hanning

Directed by: Kelsey Grammer

Original US airdate: 11th February 1999

Original UK airdate: 9th April 1999

• A Valentine For Niles

• A Valentine For Frasier

• A Valentine For Daphne And Martin

Lonely Hearts, Dec 16, 2009

Reviewer: David Sim from Skelmersdale, Lancashire

Three Valentines has an exalted place at Frasier Online. An astronomical rating (second only to The Matchmaker). And reviewers all over sing its praises. All extraordinary things. And all for an episode that doesn't deserve any of it.

I may be alone in this opinion, but Three Valentines is a case of great first act, shame about the rest. Taking a casual glance at the reviews prior to writing my own, I've noticed the majority talk of Niles' segment, and not a thing about the other two. Which only shows how boring they must have found them. Many say Three Valentines is a highlight of the season, but I found it no different from many S6 episodes. Fitfully funny but not totally satisfying.

The premise is good. Frasier, Niles, Martin and Daphne each have an adventure on Valentines Day. But Niles' is the only one worth watching. His segment is the reason to see it. Without it, Three Valentines would sink without trace.

I can certainly understand why people speak highly of the first seven minutes. Because its one of the funniest things this season. Niles is preparing for a dinner date. He tries to iron out a crease in his pants, and sets Frasier's apartment on fire in the process. What's wonderful is its told in almost complete silence. Frasier's been doing silent comedy since the show's conception. Each end credits sequence is a miniature silent movie. But this is the first time the show's ever indulged a full fledged slient routine. And its a hugely funny, successful experiment.

To simply describe the scene takes some of the fun out of watching it. A cut finger, blood on the couch, flammable fluid, extinguishers that spray everything except the fire, ruined dinner, malicious smoke detectors, a hungry dog, and a man who faints at the sight of his own blood, all to the sound of Marriage of Figaro on the soundtrack combine into a merciless, blackly hysterical sequence.

What's funny about it is the way Rob Hanning and Kelsey Grammer compound the sequence with crueller and crueller twists. Both David Hyde Pierce and Moose rise to the occasion, what with Pierce's talent for physical comedy pushed to the limit while Eddie looks on at the chaos unfolding all around him, its a scene that leaves you well and truly worn out.

But the problem with Three Valentines is that the episode peaks too soon. Where it should have worked up to it, instead it shows the funniest one first, and then has nowhere to go after that. It sets the bar so high and so early into the piece, that the remaining stories can't help but look poor by comparison.

We then move on to Frasier, who's waiting at a restaurant for Cassandra Stone (the great Virginia Madsen), KACL's new marketing manager. Its just a one-joke affair where Frasier can't figure out whether they're on a date or at a business dinner. Even when it moves into the bedroom, Frasier still can't make any sense of Cassandra's mixed signals. Most of the amusement stems from Frasier on the phone to Roz every five minutes in need of advice:

(Cassandra's getting undressed for bed) Roz: What do you need? Runway lights on the mattress!

Virginia Madsen is one of the great, underrated American actresses. No matter what part she plays, she always brings a magnetic presence. And certainly she's the most enjoyable thing about the second story. Watching her lead Frasier up and down the garden path while he does flip flops trying to keep up. But its still not much of a story. An actress of Madsen's calibre deserved better material. Which she'd get towards the end of the season.

Finally, we come to Martin and Daphne, who are both single on Valentines Day, and have gone to a restaurant together. This is the most annoying one of the three. Daphne worries she'll always be alone (just before she meets Donny in the next ep), and Martin worries about his age. So they try to cheer each other up. But they keep badgering each other with questions like "Do you really think I'm pretty?" or "Why am I wonderful?" I don't know about anybody else but all of this just drove me up the wall. I didn't think it was funny at all. The only part that did make me laugh was when Daphne called Martin her pet!

But overall, Three Valentines is a disappointment. Niles' segment is the only one that really stands out. The other two are forgettable. Certainly the episode falls short of the lavish praise heaped upon it. If it hadn't been for the first story, one suspects the rating would be much lower. One of Frasier's most overrated episodes.

Rating: 55%